


drown in dreams of daylight

by amako



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Platonic Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 11:19:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16533605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amako/pseuds/amako
Summary: Sakura thinks about her fathers' matching smiles, and she wants to scream.





	drown in dreams of daylight

Kakashi-sensei is in the hospital. Just like Sasuke, and Lee, and a thousand Konoha shinobi who fought in the invasion. No one is waking up, and Sakura wants to cry. She's alone, like she's never been alone before. Naruto is gone, a legendary master willing to teach him everything he knows; her own teacher is days away from waking up. She has no teammates, no one to talk to. No one to tell that her fathers are dead.

She never got to say goodbye, in the end. The house was bombed in an attack from the Oto shinobi, slapping explosive seals left and right in hopes of scattering Leaf nins trying to protect the civilians districts.

She learned in her books, while in the Academy, that it's always best to strike the civilian districts first, because they can't defend themselves, shinobi will panic, and once the attack is over, the village will be left weakened by the lack of citizens to do mundane jobs that shinobi don't know how to perform.

Sakura scored a perfect mark on that assignment. Now she's left with rubble and the bodies of the two men who meant the most to her. And she's alone.

So she sleeps in Lee's room, because she can't look at Kakashi-sensei's face without feeling bitterness coating her tongue. She can't sleep with Sasuke either, because he looks pale and sick and like he's about to die, his skin the same shade her father was sporting when she found his corpse underneath the broken door panel. Lee's skin is flushed, even if he's unconscious, and he's visited daily by his team who look like they actually _care_.

It seems like a nice feeling, to have your team at your back.

 

(so where is Naruto, gone and leaving her behind? Why are her teacher and teammate asleep, when her fathers are sleeping forever now?)

(why is she so alone?)

 

Her clothing is starting to smell and she's getting bored. Lee never moves, never speaks, never even breathes a little bit louder. On the second day of her silent watch, she spotted his soulmark, wrapped around his skinny wrist. It's written in blocky kanji, wide, confident strokes painting his skin with elegant wording.

 

 _Please treat me well, Lee-san_ , it says, and she knows by the language that it must have been spoken by the Hyūga boy in his team, probably when they first met. It speaks wonders about Lee's character that some nice words are enough to make him respect someone.

 

Soulmarks. The spoken words, written down on everyone's body, hidden by some and displayed with pride by others. The first words you'll ever hear from your soulmate that will make you respect them.

Her own dance around the back of her neck, hidden by her long hair, in the shape of the fine strands of her hair line. She never got a good look at them, but her dad took a picture of them and she used to have it in a frame, on her desk. She wasn't able to find it when she searched through the remains of her house.

It gives her something to do, at first, contemplating Lee's words and wondering if Neji and him will ever marry, or if they'll stay the purest form of a bond. Will they adopt children, like her fathers did? They were twin brothers, and Sakura was gifted to them when they announced their desire to raise a child. In a clan, some mothers find that they'd rather give away their baby to a bonded pair, who are known to raise children the better.

Her biological mother was her aunt, who died giving birth to her. So she ended up in her fathers' care, loved and cherished, their most precious person. They taught her everything there is to know about the Haruno Clan and the kekkei-genkai that makes them the most feared members of the shinobi force. The kekkei-genkai that also makes them the least known.

They taught her to be proud of her pink hair, of the connection her clan has to the Uzumaki and the great Uzushio of old. Neither of them was a shinobi, but they both worked in the daimyō's guard, so she knows about politics and the Land of Fire's hierarchy. Above all, they taught her that she would never have to go home to a empty house, and that she'd always have someone at her back.

Sakura thinks about her fathers' matching smiles, and she wants to scream.

 

 

She doesn't have to wait long, in the end. Barely a week after the invasion, Naruto is back, with two Sannin in tow. Jiraya-sama disappears as soon as they come through the gates, and Sakura doesn't see him. She runs fast enough, however, to spot a green coat vanishing inside the Hokage Tower, and her only walking teammate following her.

Staring at Lee, at the proof of his courage, his will, the strength of his determination, gave her something to think about. She always knew that Kakashi-sensei favoured the boys, and left her more than once alone with her training. She knows, from the exams, just how far behind she is.

Her kekkei-genkai is a thing of legend, only talked about in the highest levels of Konoha's shinobi force, but she isn't allowed to use it until it's vouched for by a Haruno Elder and a T&I specialist. Until then, she can't even mention it to her own team, and she's left with what nature gifted her at birth; a weak body and a great mind.

It's more than most.

It's not enough to survive a shinobi life.

 

 

Their new Hokage is renowned for three things: her lineage, her incredible skill in medical techniques, and her formidable strength.

Sakura couldn't care less about the roots of the Great Tree. Her will of fire was extinguished the second her house burned to the ground. Konoha is where she lives, where she eats, but she hasn't a drop of loyalty lost for a village who let her fathers die. The old Hokage is half as responsible as his pupil for the destruction of her home. When there is weed in your garden, you remove it. You don't let it grow enough to smother the good herbs.

She's loyal to the Haruno Clan, who birthed her and let her mourn her fathers, who gave her a new house and an allowance until she can take missions again. She's loyal to Naruto, because he's her cousin even if she's not allowed to talk about that. She partial to Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei, because they protected her when she was at her weakest.

She's loyal to Ino, too, she's always been. More than ever now, because her oldest friend held her hand while she took her fathers' ashes home, and gifted her with breathtaking lilies to decorate the altar she built in the kotatsu room.

For those people, she will fight. For Lee, sleeping in a hospital, visited every day by his team and his soulmate. For herself, for the voice in her head and the matching smiles of her fathers. She will fight.

And that starts with Tsunade-hime and her formidable strength.

 

 

She doesn't stop running, not even when she enters the Tower. She doesn't care about the shouts from the mission desk. All she wants is to catch Tsunade-hime before she's to busy to listen to Sakura.

Her efforts pay off. When she slams the door open, the Hokage isn't even in her seat. She turns around, her blond hair framing her face, and Sakura is struck breathless by the beauty of the woman in front of her. She's heard of it, everyone knows how gorgeous Tsunade-hime is. She never would have imagined just how true that rumour is.

Sakura is left gaping like a fish, not knowing how to start and slowly realizing how foolish it is to barge in unannounced in the office of the most important person in the village.

 

“Who are you?”

“My name is Haruno Sakura, of the Haruno Clan. Please treat me well!”

Tsunade raises an eyebrow. “The Haruno Clan? Masters of the yūrei jutsu?”

“Yes, Hokage-sama.”

“Oh, I know you. You're Uzumaki's teammate, aren't you?” Sakura nods. “Why weren't you sent to get me as well?”

Sakura looks away, ashamed and angry all at once. “My teacher did not believe I would be a beneficial addition to the squad.”

Tsunade's face doesn't betray any emotion. “Well, what can I do for you, Haruno Sakura?”

 

Sakura's jaw is set, her eyes unblinking. This is her moment. If she doesn't leave the room with an apprenticeship, her life won't mean anything to the village. She'll be a desk shinobi for the rest of her life, watching her old classmates die one by one in the field until she's the only one left, her hands free of blood or scarring.

She won't let that happen.

 

“Kakashi-sensei didn't think I'd be useful, so I stayed here. No one ever thinks I can be useful. I want to be worth something to my team, and I want to be able to protect them like they protected me. I'm weak, but I have my clan's technique and I won't disappoint you. Tsunade-sama, please teach me your strength.”

 

She bows at the waist, as low as her rank allows her and maybe a bit lower.

 

“If you give me a chance, I promise you, on the spirit of my fathers, that I won't give up.”

 

She rises, her hands fisted at her side, and for a split second, she lets Naka slips through. Her eyes flash milky white, glowing slightly in the warmth of the setting sun.

 

“I will _never_ give up.”

 

Tsunade takes a sharp breath, almost a gasp. She's staring at Sakura's eyes, back to their usual green. After a shaky step forward, she collapses more than sits in her chair, her eyes never leaving Sakura.

 

“I won't go easy on you. Everything you learn, you'll have to through sweat and blood. I won't stop for your screams nor for your tears. You swear yourself to me, and you won't be able to quit until I decide I'm done teaching you.”

“I understand, Tsunade-sama.”

“Do you swear yourself to me, Haruno Sakura?” the Hokage repeats, her hair burning with the light shining behind her.

“I do.”

Tsunade's smile is full of teeth. “You are officially my apprentice, then. For what it's worth, I believe in you.”

 

Sakura stops breathing.

It's like the world pauses around her, as the blood rushes to her ears.

Her legs give up and she falls to the ground, like a puppet whose strings are cut. Tsunade is by her side, and she doesn't remember seeing her move.

Sakura looks up, looks at that beautiful face, at that amazing woman who just agreed to shape her into something greater.

 

“It's you,” she whispers.

“I think it's you, too,” Tsunade replies, her smile a bit shaky now, a flutter in her eyelashes that betray tears to come.

“Show me,” Sakura says, almost hysterical, Naka screaming with ecstasy in her mind.

 

Tsunade removes her coat and raises her right arm, her other hand coming to pull down the sleeve hole of her grey tunic until Sakura can see her ribs.

She's always been a good writer, her kanji delicate and perfectly readable. She recognizes the flare she always puts in _watashi_ 's last stroke. _I will never give up_ , she reads on the body of the greatest woman she's ever met.

Scrambling to sit up, she unbuttons her red qipao, not caring if Tsunade sees her bright orange binder. With trembling hands, she puts her hair in a messy bun, high enough to show Tsunade her nape.

Her sharp breath is enough. Warm fingers brush across the words hidden in her hair line and Sakura shivers. A second later, strong hands are manhandling her until she's facing Tsunade again, and without giving her time to think, she's drawn into a hug.

The Hokage is all hard muscles and long limbs, but Sakura buries herself in her arms. Her face, she hides in Tsunade's collarbone, and she breathes in the smell of sweet sake and rose water.

 

“My silly, silly apprentice,” Tsunade whispers in her ear.

“Don't leave me alone,” Sakura sobs, incapable of keeping the tears at bay anymore. “I don't have anyone, please stay with me.”

“Don't cry.” Kisses are pressed into her hair, hands bringing her even closer. “You're not alone anymore. You'll always have me.”

 

Tsunade is rocking her, slowly, gently, and Sakura _bawls_. She's wailing like a child, like the child she could have been without her forehead protector and her dead fathers.

 

“Teach me how to be strong. I don't want to lose anyone else, ever.”

“I'll teach you. I'll take care of you. I promise you, Sakura, you'll never be alone.”

“Why did they have to die?”

Tsunade closes her eyes, hurt and out of breath. “I'm sorry, little one. I'm so sorry.”

 

Tsunade never stops rocking her.

Sakura falls asleep in the Hokage's arms, feeling warm.

 

 

You don't separate a bonded pair.

The first few days, even being in different rooms is excruciating; it feels like your skin is being peeled off slowly, dedicatedly. With a rusty knife.

Which is why you don't, ever, separate a bonded pair until they're ready to do so themselves. Tsunade has been Hokage for less than a week and her ANBU guards already want to murder her.

In recorded history, there has never been a Hokage with a soulmate. Hashirama and Tobirama don't count, being each other's soulmate and therefore, perfectly capable of handling themselves. Sarutobi's died when he was a child and Minato never met his.

A soulmate is a perfect way to gain leverage on a village's leader. That means a Kage's soulmate must be protected at all times. It would have made their life a hundred times better if Sakura wasn't a twelve-year-old genin.

She's well-aware of that. Tsunade explained it to her, but Sakura had already figured it out as soon as she woke up. Tsunade doesn't like it, the pressure it puts on the girl's small shoulders and the nasty glances from the guards. They mean well, but they don't want to fail at their job and it's not an easy one by far.

During the day, she stays in the Hokage's office, sitting at her own desk in a corner and reading on chakra control. It's necessary to learn how to master Tsunade's strength, and she can't practice until the bond loosens enough that she can leave Tsunade's side. At night, she follows the Sannin home, three ANBU trailing behind them.

She moved in with Tsunade as soon as they figured out who they were to each other. The Hokage mansion is large enough to house a young girl, but for now she sleeps with Tsunade, her skin crawling whenever one of them so much as needs to go to the bathroom.

Sakura moved her fathers' altar in the mansion, where an entire room is now dedicated to it, albeit a small one. Tsunade prays with her at night, and the first time she did that, Sakura cried so much she passed out from exhaustion. Her emotions are running wild, reacting to the presence of her soulmate, and every bit of grief she had managed to get rid off had come back.

The clan is understanding of her situation, supportive even. They let her move out of the Compound, and she's even been allowed to talk about Naka with Tsunade, because she's both her soulmate and the Godaime. It's a relief, to finally be able to mention her link to Naka and the yūrei jutsu as a whole.

But then... Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke wake up, and she still hasn't told Naruto, and she's a mess of feelings and stress and shame and she's still stuck to Tsunade's side. That's a lot, even for someone who's never alone in their own head.

Tsunade walks by her side all the way to the hospital, two jōnin walking in plain sight behind them and two ANBU trailing silently in the shadows. Once they're inside, she holds Sakura's hand but never looks pitying and Sakura's heart grows, grows, so much she feels like it's going to burst.

She's never been afraid of a door before.

It's still Tsunade who opens it.

Kakashi is sitting in bed, his usual orange book open in his lap. He's not reading, instead chatting with Naruto. The boy is sitting between Kakashi's and Sasuke's bed, and even though the last Uchiha is silent, he's listening intensely to the conversation. They all turn to look at them when they enter the room.

Sakura shrinks like a withering flower, half hiding behind Tsunade like she's not twelve and a shinobi, but a scared child.

 

“Sakura-chan!” Naruto smiles wide, jumping on his feet to come and hug her. She accepts it, because she doesn't want to hurt him, but her skin is crawling again. “They're finally awake, see!”

 

Tsunade's hand on her back is the only thing that keeps her from running away when she meets Kakashi's only eye. His smile tastes strange on her tongue.

 

“Hello, my cute little student.”

“H-Hi! I'm happy you're awake, Kakashi-sensei,” she stammers, surprised to realize that she actually means it. “Oh! You too, Sasuke-kun,” she adds like an afterthought, and Naruto looks at her like she just grew a second head.

 

It's hard to remember how she loved him when all she hears when she looks at him is the screech of a thousand birds and the iron smell of lightening. It's hard to hang on to her love when her heart is now split between the emptiness of the loss of her fathers and the bottomless well of warmth when she looks at Tsunade.

 

“Granny, when can they leave the hospital? I wanna get back to training!”

 

Sakura stares at her teammate, unwilling to accept what she thinks she just heard.

 

“What- What did you call her?” she says with a faint voice.

“She's super old, Sakura-chan!” Naruto laughs.

 

She doesn't remember the last time she was this angry. Losing her fathers was a pain so bad she felt like she was losing a limb, but the anger came later. This rage? The fury she feels wrapping around her stomach? The way Naka is screaming, clawing at the edge of her consciousness? Oh, that's new.

 

“You don't _ever_ call her that again,” she growls.

Sasuke sits up in his bed. “Your eyes...”

 

Tsunade's hand moves up and settles on her soulmark. The kanji flare up with _heatcomfortlovehope_ -

 

“Sakura.”

 

Naka quiets down instantly. Tsunade sighs softly.

 

“Perhaps it'd be better if you could be more gentle with us, for a few days. You could say we're a bit... unsettled.”

Kakashi's eye widens. “Oh.”

“Oh what? Kakashi-sensei, why were Sakura's eyes white? Is she like Sa-”

“We're soulmate!” Sakura says loudly. She doesn't want to talk about it, not with them and not with anyone, but it's still a lot better than talking about Naka.

Tsunade's thumb brushes against her nape. “Tsunade and I are soulmate.” Tension bleeds from Sakura's shoulders. It's the first time she says it out loud, and it feels so good to have it acknowledged.

 

“What? What?” Naruto looks between the two of them, absolutely gobsmacked. “Oh man! I wanted to be your soulmate, Sakura-chan...”

She recoils, almost stepping behind Tsunade. “I thought you'd be happy for me.”

“We are, Sakura. Congratulations,” Kakashi says with an eye-wrinkling smile. He seems sincere, and Sakura is desperate to believe him.

 

Sasuke is silent. He hasn't laid back down, his head tilted like he's contemplating Sakura, Tsunade, and the pair they make. Then, a weirdly kind smile creeps on his pale face.

 

“Congratulations, Sakura,” he says quietly. She does a double take, wide eyes looking for the prank, the mockery that is sure to come. But Sasuke doesn't say anything more. He simply lays down on the bed, his hands joining in his lap.

 

“There's something else I need to tell you,” Sakura whispers, looking down at her feet. Sasuke's surprising support is more courage than she was expecting to find in herself to give them the news. Tsunade's hand is heavy and warm when it shifts to her right shoulder, her second hand coming to rest on the left one.

 

“My parents-” She's choking on her words, dry eyes and broken heart dragging her soul through her stomach. “My parents were killed in the invasion,” she finishes, her teeth tasting of blood and rust. She closes her eyes, closes her thoughts around her hurt, hoping to swallow it down.

 

“Sakura is living with me now,” Tsunade says smoothly, taking her teammates' attention off of her. Naruto's mouth is hanging open and Sasuke looks so miserable Sakura almost wants to comfort him.

 

“Can I- can I give you a hug?” Naruto asks hesitantly, his voice low and soft. Sakura wants to scream how much that sounds like a good idea, but instead she just nods, not daring to look up.

 

Naruto's arms are shorter than hers but he's relentless in his attempt to merge her body with his. She buries her face in his shoulder, his blond hair tickling the side of her neck.

 

“You're the last person who deserves to be alone,” Naruto whispers against her cheek.

“I have Tsunade now. I have you. All of you.”

“You do,” Sasuke says from his bed. “You really, really do.”

 

Naruto lets her go, but not very far, his arm looping around her waist and pressing her against him in a side-hug. She slips a strand of her short hair behind her ear, embarrassed and pleased at the same time. (and hurt, so very hurt, but there's nothing she can do about it, is there?)

 

“Kakashi, I expect to see you in my office when you're discharged. If I see you anywhere _near_ my office before you're discharged, I'm putting you on leave. Is that clear?”

“Crystal, Godaime-sama.”

“Good. Another thing: I know you were raised by a literal pack of wolves and that Minato wasn't the best example of teacher, but if I hear that you've been neglecting Sakura in favour of the boys again, I'm suspending you.” Kakashi's face is comically shocked, but Sakura can't find it in her to sympathise. “And that has nothing to do with her being my soulmate. Your sexist, biased attitude needs to stop _yesterday_ , as way as the fucked up way you idolize Naruto and Sasuke based on your unhealthy fixation for their parents.”

 

The following silence weights a ton and stinks of mistakes. Sakura wants to marry Tsunade and have her adopt her at the same time.

 

“Tsunade-sama-”

“There's nothing you could possibly say that would make me come back on my words, brat. Now deal with your shit.”

“Kakashi-sensei...” Naruto's voice is shaking and so, so light, reflecting of the child he's barely growing out of being. “You knew my parents?”

Tsunade's smile is feral. “Oh yes, while we're on the matter. I'm revoking Sarutobi's disgusting protection law. Starting tomorrow, we're talking about what happened. Which means, Naruto, sleepover at the mansion tonight. I need to tell you everything that people hid from you, and that includes a bunch of stuff Sakura has to tell you too.” She looks up at Sasuke, frowning and trying to make sense of what he's witnessing. “You're invited too, but you'll be in bed all evening. What do you say?”

“I'm coming,” Sasuke answers firmly.

“Good. Kakashi, I hope to find a better teacher next time I see you. Get well soon.”

 

Then she grabs Sakura's hand, gestures at Naruto to follow and steps right into Sasuke's personal space. He tries to recoil, but she's already lifted him from the bed and put him on her hip like a toddler.

 

“Let's go.”

 

And so they go.

 

 

 

“So you're my cousin?”

Sakura nods. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you.”

“It's okay. You couldn't. I can't believe there was a law made just for me.”

“It sucks,” Sasuke says from his corner of the room, where he's lying down on a futon.

“Yeah,” Naruto and Sakura reply at the same time.

 

Naruto shifts, pulling closer to Sakura on their own futon. His frog pyjamas are buttoned up to his chin, and he looks too comfortable for her to push him away.

 

“I'm really sorry about your dads,” he says, his nose scrunching up.

“I miss them so much.” Her voice cracks, so she swallows a couple of times, hoping to get a hold of herself.

“When Itachi- when it happened, I cried for three days straight, until I passed out in my old bedroom.”

 

Sasuke is looking at the ceiling, his face blank but his whole body wired up like he's bracing for a fight.

 

“I woke up in the hospital, and I cried again.” He turns his head just enough to look at her. “You can cry too, Sakura.”

“I hate them. I hate Sound so much. First they attacked us in the forest, then Orochimaru did- did this to you,” she gestures to her neck, “and now they've taken my fathers. I hate them!”

“You can cry too,” Sasuke whispers, looking away. Naruto wraps himself around Sakura, his little fingers hiding in her tangled hair. She's murmuring her hatred into his chest, until she doesn't notice the tears streaming down her face anymore.

 

There's a light knock on the door, before it slides open. Tsunade comes in quietly, and kneels besides the futon.

 

“Is everything alright?” she asks, looking at Sakura but the question aimed at all three of them.

“Y-yes, I'm sorry,” Sakura says, wiping her tears.

“Don't apologize. I'm supposed to know when you're not okay.”

 

Sakura offers her a shaky smile and Tsunade kisses her forehead, before patting Naruto on the back.

 

“Alright, you should sleep. Come and see me if you need it, Sakura, okay? I mean it.”

 

She nods, her smile just a little bit more secure and she waves back at Tsunade when she leaves the room.

 

“You're really happy, uh?” Naruto asks.

“It's like I have a second heart always hugging mine, and it feels so warm and secure and I just want to cuddle with her all day and never move,” Sakura whispers quickly, blushing without knowing why.

“Good,” he says firmly. “You deserve to be happy.”

 

Sakura makes a fond noise and jumps on him, hugging Naruto and burying him in the pillows of their bed.

 

“Cut it out you too, I'm trying to sleep,” Sasuke says from where he's obviously watching them instead of resting.

“He's being a grump, Sakura-chan. We should do something about it.”

 

This time, when they smother Sasuke with blankets and laughter, he has nothing to say about it.

 


End file.
